


Ryan & Sam talk through the fall-out

by alley_oops, jennandanica



Series: Citadel: Sam Worthington and Ryan Kwanten [238]
Category: Actor RPF, Australian Actor RPF, Citadel (Journalfen RPG), True Blood RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-18 00:10:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14200644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alley_oops/pseuds/alley_oops, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica
Summary: This is a re-posting (archiving) of all logs for the Sam Worthington/Ryan Kwanten storyline in the BDSM RPS RPGCitadel.





	Ryan & Sam talk through the fall-out

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-posting (archiving) of all logs for the Sam Worthington/Ryan Kwanten storyline in the BDSM RPS RPG [Citadel](http://citadel.dreamwidth.org/read).

[directly follows this [brutal morning](http://sam-worthington.dreamwidth.org/3229.html)]  
[Backdated to Spring, 2014]

The rest of the day's been quiet, uneventful, most of their time spent on the couch, wrapped around each other, and that's where they find themselves again after dinner. It feels like Ryan's back to normal and there's a part of Sam that doesn't even want to bring the subject up again but he's never been one to just ignore things and hope they'll go away, and he knows Ryan knows he took the easier way out earlier.

In Ryan's opinion, they just don't do this often enough. Hell, there's simply not enough _time_ what with Sam's work schedule: he knows damn well to take whatever intimate moments they have together and be bloody grateful for them. That being the case, he now luxuriates in the closeness, breathing in his lover's scent and grounding himself in Sam.

"How're you feeling?" Sam asks, kissing the back of Ryan's neck, his arms wrapped around his lover, keeping him close.

Ryan's eyes shut and he smiles slowly. "Blissful. You?"

"Really good," Sam says with a smile. "Can't think of anywhere I'd rather be."

"Good." Ryan rubs his cheek on Sam's shoulder. "I've been fighting with Alexandra and her team to get you some consistent days off. Like, at least one day free for every three weeks. I'm not going to let them run you dry."

Sam smiles. "You take good care of me," he says, pulling Ryan in even closer. "And I should've taken better care of you this morning."

His frame stiffens in an instant, and Ryan could swear he feels his brain go just as rigid. Hey there, denial. "We don't have to talk about that," he whispers.

"Yeah, we do," Sam says, keeping hold of Ryan. "It really freaked me out seeing you that upset."

His brow furrows, and questions stutter and stop, caught in Ryan's throat. Finally he comes up with a simple, "Why?"

"Because normally I can calm you right down but everything I did just made it worse," Sam says, then admits, "I'm not used to my instincts being so off. Not with you."

"I'm sorry," Ryan whispers, hunching in on himself. "I should have... I shouldn't... I apologize, Sir. Please don't worry. Whatever it was, it's over now."

"I don't want you apologizing," Sam says, starting to feel sick all over again. "You have nothing to apologize for. Can't we just talk about this?"

"But–" Ryan pulls away, twisting on the couch so he can look his husband in the eye. "I guess I... I guess I don't quite understand what you want to talk about."

"Why you got so upset? Especially when I was trying to make you feel better," Sam says. "And I wanted – I got frustrated in the store with what you said to that guy. I know you were trying to protect my reputation but the one you were giving him – that's not what I want to be known for."

"But, that's why I got so upset. Because I realized you were angry about what I'd said, and I hadn't thought up anything better on the spot," Ryan says quietly. "I'm sorry, Sir."

"I know and I shouldn't have been angry in the first place because I put you in that situation. I should've waited until we were like this and could talk about it, but when I tried to make it up to you, by the car, you got more upset and then at home..." Sam blows out a breath. "Was it just the headspace you were in? Did I do something wrong?"

"Sam, you... I thought you were going to for real hug me. _In public_." Ryan's whisper is laden with the shock and horror he'd felt at the time. "I couldn't let you do that." He meets his lover's eyes, silently pleading. "You know I can't ever let you fuck yourself over for me."

"But that's my choice," Sam says, close to pleading himself. "I wanted to comfort you. I needed you to know you're more important to me than any of that."

Ryan shakes his head, his eyes wide. "No, Sir. No," he argues, feeling that same wave of panic rise up and sweep over him. "We agreed. I won't ever be a liability for you."

"You're my _husband_ , my boy," Sam says, horrified at the thought Ryan would ever think himself a liability. "I wanted to comfort you. I didn't care if anyone saw us and I still don't. If it's a choice between you and all that other shit, I'd choose you in a heartbeat, and we're only hiding this as long as it works for both of us. I know it's going to come out at some point and I'd rather it came out because I decided I needed to hug or kiss or comfort you than have it come out because some asshole went rooting through our garbage."

The statement stuns Ryan, making his breath catch in his throat. "You... Are you sure you're ready for that? Now?"

"I don't know," Sam says softly, honestly. "I'm not ready to make a statement tomorrow, if that's what you mean. But I want to stop out-and-out hiding. I want to let Natalie know I don't need a beard anymore, and I want to just be able to hang out with you, and yeah, I want to be able to touch you and if someone picks up on that, then fuck it."

It's still difficult as hell to believe, but the overwhelming joy that rushes through Ryan is like riding pure light. He smiles tentatively, his heart in his eyes as he launches himself at his husband.

Sam hugs Ryan tight, kissing the side of his throat before he turns to his mouth, losing himself in his lover, his husband, his boy. "Just – next time someone asks what I'm like to work for? Tell them I'm the best boss ever, okay?" He grins.

"You _are_ the best boss," Ryan argues mildly, wrapping himself around Sam like he won't ever let him get away. "Ever."

"You just think so 'cause you get the benefits package," Sam says, laughing, so fucking grateful they seemed to have put things right between them.

"You're damn right I do," Ryan answers, his words a near growl. "I'm a pushy fucking employee," he jokes, thinking back – _way_ back to the beginning – when he warned Sam that he was a pushy fucking sub.

Sam laughs. "Yeah, but you're worth it."  



End file.
